1-12-09 Idk What To Say;

Lukey && i are officially Two Months after a couple of days ago.
i get so lonely sometimes,
but im being a good grl for the most part.
i've met some new faces,
this guy los :]
he's black and korean :]]]
and i feel like im forgetting ppl lol but oh well i'll remember sooner or later.
my head is really messed up right now,
my ex and i are basically being forced to stop talking.
i was really hurt at first,
i swear i couldnt listen to "Here I Am" by rick Ross last night,
without bursting into tears.
i felt so dumb crying over him,
like i dnt have the rest of my life ahead of me,
and millions of new ppl to meet.
but he jst means alot to me right now,
and that song jst triggered something inside.
that song reminds me of the day we met,
that was thee song he had on his page when we first started tlking.
those days were wonderful,
and everything jst went down hill from there.
well, not really,
im not going to make our relationship out to be a horrible one,
because it really wasn;t, not at all.
i told alot of boys i love them,
but after meeting him,
it feels great to know i really mean it.
but im chilling now;
he's an asshole forreal.
but even so, everytime i tlk to someone besides him,
i can never get fully attached,
it's like he's got some hold on me.
im so attached.
noone has ever made me feel this way,
im literally a big ass cry bby over this nigga.
i mean yeah, if a nigga make me mad,
tears come.
but the tears that he brings are of hurt and sadness.
im really not ready to tlk to anyone else right now.
thee only person that i feel can really save me from this rollercoasterride,
is my boyfriend.
i swear,
once he gets out,
it's jst me and him.
at least thats what i wnt.
but i know deep down inside,
he'll always be in my heart.
that little peice of my heart will always remain his,
but i guess i jst gotta let go?..... :[
but im jst going to have to get over that and move on.
that's what he wants me to do anyway.
FCKING ASSHOLE!
who would say something like that?
but yet he lovess me.
fcking lying ass bastard.
i swear i hate his insides,
but i dnt have to deal with his shit anymore.
i swear ughh i never met a nigga like him,
never in my 16 years,
but i jst don't have much to say right now :/
thee end.
ttyl, i have alot to think about.
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ ßéℓℓαquєó.