12-30-08 Late Nite Thinking.

El Amor De Mi Vida; My Lukey.

It's currently five thirty in the morning.
i can't sleep and i have so much on my mind.
im a little upset,
i didnt get to see my boyfriend on his home pass,
but we have all the time in thee world right?
so im not spazzinq.
i've been talking to my ex boyfriend lately;
as most know i still have maddd amor for him,
and i dnt know where to go from here.
I cnt have them both at thee same time,
I cnt love them both at thee same time,
they both cnt have my heart at thee same time.
my lukeyy,
he has yet to do me wrong.
i love him so much,
he always knows the right things to say,
and never passes up a moment to tell me he loves me.
my ex, this nigga on thee other hand,
i cnt say the same for.
i get an occasional i love you,
when he's in a good mood and not spazzing.
this guy is crazy, bipolar and all thee above,
but i've grown to love him and all of his crazy ways.

now im left to decide which one to be with?
i feel that i would be happier with what i have now.
much less problemos, hrt feelings, pain, all that junk.
but im so attached to my ex,
i jst cnt throw away what we have,
he's thee first boy that i have truely lovedd, to be quite honest.



my life is a mess.
-ßéℓℓαquєó.

12-23-08 My Love Is Homee :]

So Christmas Break Began Today.
So Much TO Do, SO little timee.
yafeelmehh?

I got a text from el amor de mi vida at 2:16 this afternoon,
he's finally homee.
i missed mi bebe so much,
you dnt understand.
Im so happy that my baby is home,
only if it is until the 27th,
I'll be spending as much time with him as i possibly can,
so i'll be out gaithersburg for a little while.
He's been in that center for a while,
so im sure he's anxious, if you catch my drift.
Ha it'll be our first time together,
so much to do ;]
So that will be the high point of my break,
maybe i come back with a little surprise myself...shh:]

Nothing much has been happening lately,
oh :x an argument with the ex factor took place yesterday.
let's jst say everyone can accept the fact that i have a boyfriend but him.
eventually he'll get over it,
if not, suckss.
and yet again, the solution to this catastaphy is quite obvious?

but off to la fiesta i go.
hasta luego <345.

12-20-08; 1 Month and 10 Dayss.

we are doingg jst fine for those who want to know.
i'm loving thee ABOVE unconditionally,
and most of all, no problems thus far.
though my thoughts often wander to that ex of mine.
despite how i try not to, its IMPOSSIBLE!
we promised to always love each other,
and im holding minee,
im not quite sure if i can say the same for him.
quite frankly, im perferctly happy with what i have,
im not in search of anything else at all,
my mind jst meanders thee past sometimes,
and i can't help it.
dnt get me wrong,
i love my boyfriend,
he doesn't have anything to worry about,
im not ending what we have,
which by the way is flawless jst flawless,
to go back to the arguing and drama that my ex and i faced everyday.
if i ever do decide to go back to that,
it will be when im single,
but as for now,
im more than happy with what i have.
even so, i've come to realize that loving two ppl at one time,
is not as hard as others make it out to be.
my ex is jst, how can i say this?
a distant lover?
my love goes out to him,
but im losing signal,
i'm not sure if im recieving?
on the other hand,
mi novio is an angel,
he's always there for me,
i never doubt his lovee, to be quite honest.
my solution to this problem is quite obvious?